The Last Nerve

Today was rough day.

Way slept well last night, except for some fussy feeding (he just refused to latch on.) But he was very fussy all morning and wasn't content to be set down anywhere for more than 10 minutes at a time. And the amazing Moby Wrap was in the wash. La Lou was super whiny and clingy. We had a nice visit to our day care provider's house this afternoon, but when we came home Way was back to fussy and Bill was just getting up. All I wanted to do was go to the post office. Instead Bill was huffing and puffing about the kitchen being a mess. Like it doesn't annoy me too. Really, it's all about the fact that he works a 6pm to 6am shift and is sleeping from 7 til 3 every day. Which gives us 2 and a half hours with him. And he is getting ready for the half hour of that. IT SUCKS AND I HATE IT. So there. And also he doesn't do anything for me in those 2 hours other than bring in wood. Unless I tell him what to do, and then I get an "I have to get ready for work."

I just felt like my house and the kids and Bill were like waves rushing over me all day long. Just when I felt like I had a bit of a foothold, it all came crashing down. Again. And again.

After dinner was even worse. Bill was gone, but baby was fussy, Eva was destructive, and I banged my head on a shelf in the kitchen. I have a hard enough time keeping Eva on track WITHOUT a baby A.) in my arms or B.) screaming in the background. In the time I was trying to get dinner picked up and Waylon fed she ripped the cover of a brand new book off, got under the kitchen table and ripped apart some styrofoam she found there, and peed on the bathroom floor (as well as on a bathmat, her pants, her socks, and her underwear.)

Now she's in bed but Way is crying and still needs a bath. (And he REALLY needs one, or I would skip it.)

And so on. At least tomorrow is Bill's day off.

Edited to add: And so on. Eva was laughing hysterically in her room with the light on. I went in to turn it off and she was shredding a book that I had put on the TOP shelf of her armoire. At least it wasn't a NEW one. I was furious. FURIOUS. I don't think I have ever been that mad at anyone. Ever. So I told her no tv tomorrow. Is that even a good punishment? Fuck if I know! I have no clue what I am doing here, folks!