Today George Tiller, a Kansas abortion provider, was murdered as he served as an usher at his church. It has been more than 10 years since the last deadly clinic violence, though arson and vandalism of providers' offices are a near monthly occurrences. The general public may forget the risk that abortion providers incur to provide care for women. But I work at a family planning clinic that also provides abortions. Our protesters are tame but when new ones show up we are very aware of their presence. We take security very seriously, but our staff has to treat patients, and they must go out into the world at the end of the day.

Dr. Tiller was famous because he performed late-term abortions. By doing so, he literally saved the lives of many, many women over the years. Many of patients faced heartbreaking outcomes of wanted pregnancies. Others were victims of successful anti-choice efforts to throw obstacles up in the path to abortion access. Because of the procedures he did he was a very large target for anti-choice zealots. He had survived a previous attempt on his life. He was harassed by Phill Kline, the former Kansas Attorney General, who seemed to be suing Tiller every chance other week. Operation Rescue had a "Tiller Watch" on their website. And yet. And yet he continued to be Doctor Tiller for his patients. For the women of Kansas and beyond.

I could be scared. Maybe I am a little scared. But I am also outraged. And I am channeling that outrage. Tomorrow I will be in the office. I will be working on the project I had already planned for the morning: writing an appeal for our Choice Fund, which helps women with no other resources pay for their abortions.

But tonight, I am thinking of Dr. Tiller, and praying for the safety of the abortion providers I know personally, and for the ones I don't.

Our Pond

We took the gigantic new canoe to Black Pond today. It is our go-to paddling spot...pretty close, beautiful, rarely crowded, and full of loons. It was Waylon's first time on the water, and his first time in a PFD. He took it better than Eva did at that age at least!



On the way home we went through Alder Brook, and as we came around a curve in the road a bear ran in front of the truck...he was pretty small but gorgeous. I couldn't get a picture of him, but here are his tracks:

Mama's Got A Brand New Bag

I am addicted to totes. I rationalize them as diaper bags, but really I couldn't give a crap whether or not they work as such. If they are cute and tote-y...I want. My requirements...roomy, but not too big. And also with a long enough handle to go over my shoulder. I just got a new one from my lovely new friend Laura. She and other new friend Julia (who happens to be her sister) sell their wares here. But if you are lucky like me you can go to the source.

But here's the problem. I really get new bags because the old ones get too full of crap to use.

Here they are. The new one is front and center.

And the contents.

Bag 1:



I bring this one to work every day...breastpump valves, bottle caps, tshirts for an Assemblymember's children, emergency soup?, granola bar, half finished bottle of water, flashlights.

This is my life people!



In the other bags? Diapers, diapers, diapers. Wipes. Car adapter for an unknown appliance, not breastpump. Tissues. Toys. Waylon's socks. My socks. Mittens for Eva. Baby shoes. Lint. Receipts. Crap. Well, hey there spare car keys! I need to go spend that gift card from Bath and Body Works. Merry Xmas! Really really pretty stationery wrap from Julia (see above link for shop!)

I had no idea what was in these. And I bring at least one with me wherever I go. Sometime two. Like today. When I brought 2 totes of useless junk to work. But left the breastpump at home.

Something tells me I am a candidate for about 5 different cable tv makeover shows...(Probably more, but I cropped out the rest of clutter from the pictures, so you'll never know!)

Accomplished

My house is still a mess. But the good news is that it is not MORE of a mess than it was on Friday. We've spent our time not cleaning setting up the crib for Waylon, planting wildflower seed mix, setting up a container garden, shopping, laundering, eating popsicles and thinking about cleaning the house. Tonight it is a cookout with folks from the Hungry Trout (we will be representing Bill.) He is currently steaming out with his friend Vinnie to set lobster traps 8 hours off of Long Island. Hopefully we will experience the fruits of this labor on our summer vacation in August.

I'm considering a walk around Mirror Lake this afternoon...we'll see when the nap ends!

Who wouldn't love to be with these two all the time?

Let's not answer that, except to say the hunt for a local babysitter for hot dates is back on. (And, yes, I do work and therefore are not with them all the time...The problem is more a need for one one one time with Bill for actually uninterrupted, non-whispered, undistracted talking.)

Feminist Work

It dawned on me in the shower the other day that all of my professional jobs have been at institutions with feminist (in some way) origins. Yes, I do all my thinking in the shower. Because I am A. alone and B. awake when I am there.

Anyway...In college, I interned at Women Strike for Peace - which was born out of a group of mom activists for peace and against nuclear proliferation. After grad school, I worked at SafePlace, a center for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Then I went to work at my alma mater, Sarah Lawrence, an institution that pioneered progressive education for women. And now I work for the Nested Ps, where we talk about women's rights each and every day. (For the record, I've also been paid to work at ESPN, Subway, various temp agencies - with one assignment to a defense contractor - now THAT was interesting!, a frame shop, and Tesoros - from whence came any Peruvian folk art you bought here in the US.)

And what do all these place have in common other than feminism? At each of these places I had amazing female bosses. I seriously have never had a bad boss in my entire career so far. And I hope to never have one. Or be one. I've had mentiors, friends, teachers, challengers and role models. How amazing is that? I can't say these places didn't have some crazy ass people working in them, or that a feminist organization is automatically a healthy and functional workplace. But I have been oh so lucky.

And now that I am a boss, and have almost 2 years of bossing experience, I am finally feeling confident enough in supervising to begin thinking abut how I can be an amazing boss too... Good thing I have had such great models!

The Best Mother's Day Present Ever

Last night, W. slept from 9pm until 5:30am!! Wahoo! That's after two nights of 8:30 til 4pm. I'm sure it won't last - after all, one step forward, two steps back with baby sleep....but still! What a gift!

And also....Bill got me a beautiful necklace with gray/purple pearls and similar colored dangling stones.

The kids and I took my mom out to brunch in Lake Placid.

Lovely day!

Food, Glorious Food

Waylon is loving the solid foods....so far he's had rice cereal and sweet potatoes and if I slow down too much in the feeding he HOWLS at me.

We had another busy weekend...to Burlington on Saturday where we hit Kids Town for diaper covers, gifts for my cousins baby, and books for Eva. Then to the small boat exchange to drool over a Dovekie. Anyone want to give us $4k to buy it? Getting one is now my dream. And I don't think it's unreasonable, except for all the work our house needs. After that Bill and E dropped W and I off on Church Street where I shopped unsuccessfully for an hour or so before meeting up with friends for lunch. More shopping (no buying). Then I met E and B down at the waterfront where they had been visiting ECHO. When we got home Bill convinced me to order some clothes online, since I totally dropped the ball on the buying earlier in the day.

Sunday, clean, shop, book club, bed.

Where does all the time go?