Like getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick...

For the last few weeks (or maybe months?) I have been struggling with how to discipline the crazy Miss Lulu. She has a tendency to get extremely wound up, to fly off into temper tantrums, and to be extremely demanding and bossy. Especially with me. But last night was a real wake up call. We had been at a birthday party for a neighbor, with lots of other kids. She did great, and found some older (7 or 8 year old) girls to hang out with for much of the party. When we were leaving something happened...I think they were doing something she couldn't do and she was mad that they didn't want her to join them (they had been VERY patient up til then.) So there was a meltdown in the car as we drove to see our pal Larry's band play at the Ward Theater in Jay. (Yes, Larry who played at our wedding...) We talked to her about how big kids are big kids and she's not big yet and how she needs to listen to us.

So when we got to the concert I think she was thrilled to be the big kid around a bunch of small kids. And then she got CRAZY. Running around, screeching, running around, getting in the faces of the littler kids. Not in a mean way, but she just wanted them to PLAY WITH HER. NOW! I stopped her and talked to her about being careful around little kids, made her apologize when she knocked the cutest boy in Upper Jay over accidentally, made her put down sticks and rocks. And then, when she was on the other side of the shrubs from me she poked another little kid in the eye. With a stick.

I am pretty sure I vaulted over the shrubs. The other kid looked ok (and his mom was right there) and I grabbed her and hauled her away as fast as I could. (Bill figured out to follow with a glance.)

I was so angry and embarrassed. I should have made her apologize, but I was really so mad at her that I couldn't even speak. She begged us to let her go back but it home and into bed.

I was still mad when I peeked in on her at midnight. But got over it when she upchucked all over her bed not fifteen minutes later. (Second time this week...)

Anyway. We do time outs. We talk to her about expectations. But she continues to be totally defiant and I see that I have let her run over me a LOT in the past. So now what???? And also, how do I know if she is a normal crazy 3.5 year old, or if she has a behavior problem?

This shit is hard, y'all.